When we were little, we looked forward to our next birthday and wished we could grow up faster, thinking about the bigger freedom we can possess. As we grow older, we wished time could go slower and slowly, we begin to start wishing not to grow older because we know that growing older means we will have to give up our childishness to take on responsibility and be more mature. We had to think before acting more and more. Sometimes, we just fear losing our youthfulness.
I know that I haven't reached an age to start complaining about getting older, but something in me felt that way. I craved for more freedom since young and I still do, but a certain fear of growing older started appearing. Since it started until now, I'm still debating with myself about its reasons. Maybe, it was because I was a little afraid of reaching an age which would cause me to stop thinking about doing stupid things like breaking some rules, acting like idiots with a couple of friends, having the ability to come up with wild things to do or maybe I just didn't like the idea of carrying bigger responsibilities. Have you ever seen an adult and thought to yourself that I don't ever want to grow up to be like him/her? Maybe it might be something like that.
Who knows what we would be like in 3, 5, 10 years? I guess I'll end with that thought for you to ponder on. Sweet dreams.
- B -
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