It hits when you least expect it,
And causes confusion.
Then it overcomes your whole being with no warning.
Denial will only draw you deeper.
Without that presence it makes you feel anxious.
It can be momentarily put away slightly with distractions.
With that presence it puts you at ease.
But it can't be tamed or controlled.
Acceptance brings on a pain that sinks deeper as time goes by.
B.T.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
puzzles that lead to more confusion
Let's see. Summer break flew by. More than half of my final college year has gone by. Winter break went by quickly followed by New Years and now CNY is here. So much has happened I can't quite comprehend.
All I know now is how much God has been there for me throughout my life even when I can't quite see it or even when I doubt it myself. It took me 21 years, a group of people who are passionate about God, and a series of events for it to finally hit me so hard I couldn't help myself and for the first time had willingly given up control over my life.
After that it has just been a road of struggles, coming out of my bubble, and new experiences. It is simply so amazing to witness what He does to one's life when we let Him chisel us. I'm not saying it is all flowers blooming and rainbows. There will be tiny to severe turbulence caused by the enemy usually but hey there's nothing God can't help us overcome.
Anyways, there obviously is a reason I am having trouble with sleeping and I guess this seemed like a good enough distraction rather than tossing and turning aimlessly while my brain goes on overdrive.
It is just brilliant when there's something that is overly puzzling and even when you have a certain conclusion to it, it brings up more confusing things. That's probably why I needed a distraction. It simply isn't going anywhere. Rantings ftw.
Well then, onto onto another distraction. Tataz.
B.T.
All I know now is how much God has been there for me throughout my life even when I can't quite see it or even when I doubt it myself. It took me 21 years, a group of people who are passionate about God, and a series of events for it to finally hit me so hard I couldn't help myself and for the first time had willingly given up control over my life.
After that it has just been a road of struggles, coming out of my bubble, and new experiences. It is simply so amazing to witness what He does to one's life when we let Him chisel us. I'm not saying it is all flowers blooming and rainbows. There will be tiny to severe turbulence caused by the enemy usually but hey there's nothing God can't help us overcome.
Anyways, there obviously is a reason I am having trouble with sleeping and I guess this seemed like a good enough distraction rather than tossing and turning aimlessly while my brain goes on overdrive.
It is just brilliant when there's something that is overly puzzling and even when you have a certain conclusion to it, it brings up more confusing things. That's probably why I needed a distraction. It simply isn't going anywhere. Rantings ftw.
Well then, onto onto another distraction. Tataz.
B.T.
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